Knowing The Truth and Struggle

This will be a very long, emotional post.

I looked back to the latest old post and it was published in 2011 when I was in secondary school.

Time flies and now I'm a university student.

There had been a lot of highs and lows throughout these few years.

I never thought that I would come back here and write a new blog post.

I just don't know how and where to express my feelings. This is too much for me. TOO MUCH.

So I did it here, miss the old times when I almost wrote everything here. 

Things have changed and I have changed too. 

I cried a lot about this thing and I never able could tell everyone how I felt. 

It's disturbing me very MUCH.

Some of you or maybe none of you knew that I have recently made a life-changing decision.

I'm now vegetarian by means I do not eat any animal MEAT.

I went vegetarian in November 1, 2015. 

This is the hardest decision I have ever made since I was born. It took me almost half year to make this happen. In fact, I had decided that I want to go vegetarian after I graduate. But I couldn't wait, it doesn't feel right.

When I made this choice, I only let the closest people to know.

Such as parents, some relatives and university friends that I always hang out with.

I haven't able to tell my best friend, because I felt unnecessary to tell her because we don't hang out as much as before. I think it would be better if I told her face to face when we meet up.

There are a lot of reasons that I want to be vegetarian. 

Honestly, my very first intention to go vegetarian is to lose weight. 

I've gained quite a lot of weight since I graduate from secondary and I really do not like to talk about this, I always try to avoid it. 

I knew the reason how I ruined my body and I want to fix it. I always knew.

I think it was 2014, and I searched a lot of weight loss information from internet.

The "VEGAN" word just popped up everywhere and this is where I start the journey.

Vegan is a person who do not consume any animal PRODUCTS (including dairy, do not wear anything from animals, basically plant-based).

I do watched a lot of vegan video at first, it does make me want to be healthier, eat less meat.

There's tons of video that every time I watch, it pushes me to become a vegan.

I knew that I want to become a vegan but I don't have the courage.

Every time, I found excuses for me to become a vegan.

Because I knew there's people out there can lose weight on a omnivore diet, and what's more I was given meat to eat since I born. My family are all living this way.

But I always knew there was something wrong, I don't feel this is right for me.

I was still looking for vegan food video and I knew I probably just need a little push.

So, I found a video on Youtube via some vegan vloggers.

I was SHOCKED. I cried when I first saw it.

I knew it from the day I watched the video, I'm definitely going vegan.

So, I told my parents that I'm going vegetarian. 

Obviously, they don't agree. My mum had much more disagreement with me, my dad seems like doesn't care much. But it was not too hard to handle this problem, probably because I have relatives who are thriving on this lifestyle more than 10 years. 

Don't get me wrong, I still want to go vegan.

Vegetarian is just a process to vegan for me.

You see, the most disturbing reason that made me took so long to decide is the sociable issue.

I'm not a very sociable person, and I worried that this would make it worst.

That's why I don't like to talk to people why I am vegetarian.

Because this harsh but truth might get people offended.

Not everyone can understand the feeling I go through, this is so much and I couldn't said it because I worried people get offended and hated me!

It's not just a DIET change. It's LIFESTYLE change.

I did go through some awkward situation when I met new people and have to eat with them and tell them I'm vegetarian.

I always try to keep my profile low, like very low.

I convinced myself this is the right time to go vegetarian because after I graduate and start working, I have to face a lot of "awkward" situation, so why not now "practice" first, then it might get comfortable in the future. I guess it takes time, right?

A lot of people might think I go vegetarian because of religion.
There are people either don't ask or immediately think I'm go vegetarian because of religion.
So I'm here to say I'M NOT. I guess you don't have to be Buddist and superstitious to go vegan.
What you need to find your value, your compassionate.
I cried when I saw animal cruelty, that's why I took action.
I don't want people help me do it if I can't do it. It just very WRONG to me.

Being a only vegetarian in the home doesn't feel good, or secure.

I'm the only one who is fighting alone on this lifestyle.

I didn't told my parents the real reason that pushed me to become a vegetarian.

Again, I worried they get offended too and I would ending up fighting with them from the nutrition perspectives.

I have done a lot of research from nutrition aspect, and so far I learnt most vegan/vegetarian have no problem with getting the nutrients from plant-based sources. 

Still, I deeply wish they will know what I'm doing for and get them to become vegetarian/vegan.

It's hard to fight for truth and you just couldn't tell. I felt completely alone.

Few days ago, I have decided why not watch vegan documentaries.

So, I picked up "Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret" and watched it. This documentary talks about the relationship between food and the environment.

I was blown away by the staggering statistics, the truth.

I do watch documentaries sometimes, but no one could really get my attention. 

This is probably the best documentary I have ever seen. A real eye-opening documentary.

I really appreciate people who made this. 

I never felt stronger in staying as a vegetarian and in transitioning to vegan in the future.

And I made my decision to mark my vegetarianism on Facebook at the same day I watched Cowspiracy.

People might don't get it why I want to become, and why it matters.

It does matter because this is how I choose to live.

Note://
The first video speaks about why people wear cows, eat pigs and love dogs. The speakers does an amazing and logical explanation.
This is another speech done by Gary Yoursky that I would recommend ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K36Zu0pA4U

If you are interested to watch "Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret", you'll need to pay $4.95 to view it. In fact, I watched it free one from Youtube. (It's not supposed to be free)